National Amuser – Fast Reads

People-n-Pet Chip Implants

In size, microchip implants are like grains of brown rice, the more nutritious type. Implants are an identification circuit conveniently placed under the skin. New chips, like two-ray radios, send and receive signals. Demand for them is expected to be really big. Read Microchips

Now, chips are easier to program than ever before. From desktops, scanners and phone apps, send commands to chip receivers. Some models dispense medicine, while others modify behavior to impart electrical shocks, like an invisible fence.

To get under our skin, tech giants team up with veterinarians. To hasten (speed up) widespread adoption of implants for humans, as well as pets, vets are now able to inject them into humans. $50 gift cards may entice chip takers.

"It’s painless. We swab numbing gel (lidocaine) on you and an implant is popped in easy peasy," said Ron Keen laughing. Mr. Keen trains vets on "multi-purpose" chip implants and added, "It’s an upgrade from old RFID chips."

"When at a vet for pets, it’s a good time to think for yourself about an implant for you. Repeat conditioning makes animals docile for masters," suggested Ron.

Fur is flying among wacky protesters with megaphones outside a box store that offers pet and people implants. "Reject the chip. It’s a soul trap device," went the loud chants of Harry Burr, who denounces implants.

Chippers do not worry over protests. "It boosts business. Folks see sense in getting chipped. It opens bank accounts, doors and more," said a store manager who did not give a name.

Opponents imagine and claim evil chips put a leash on souls to force reincarnation, deny nirvana and other awful outcomes. They feel if you do not learn history and how to think, tyrannical masters can take total control or worse. ◆ Click to Close

Light Pollution Problems

Lots of money goes to pay for streetlights and yard lamps. It turns naturally dark, storytelling nights, into overexposed revelations of crass real estate projects, private schools, and empty shopping centers. See More - Pollution

It truly lights up the hell people mistakenly think this life represents. Ancient peoples, including our Native American families, worshiped the Sun, the Moon, and the Stars. Even the three wise men in bible times in the Arabian territory, wisely followed the lights under dark night covers.

Astrologers know how to read the messages, and not everyone listens. The dark skies initiative wants to darken things up a bit. "It will put the heavenly lights on our minds again," says Reverend Polly Lumens, a dark sky activist. "People are missing the signs of heaven in front of their eyes," she adds.

The activists want folks to dim lights, set timers, and observe light discipline. They want city streetlights to go dark after one minute when no movement is detected. A goal is so people in the hearts of big cities can catch glimpses of the Milky Way Galaxy, or the dome over which covers the Earth say some. ● Click to Close

You may.. find likable satire.

Bigfoot — Uptick in Sightings

More Bigfoot sightings in Oregon are being reported. The uptick in numbers is a response to more folks out alone with data service on forest trails, getting out of towns. Statistics suggest individuals see things. Read More - Bigfoot Uptick

Polls taken at hiking path trailheads reveal a growing “sole walk” trend, where a person visits the woods to avoid crowds and gets some fresh air. Often, they are breaking in new boots and sandals. Walks alone in nature can reduce stress say experts.

“It is no wonder that with smart phones off that one sees unfamiliar stuff out on the trails,” explains Eve Higgins, an Oregon guide specializing in hunts for Bigfoot and hidden caves. “The locals are used to it so they don’t report sightings as much as do visitors,” Eve offered while biting into a fresh Oregon apple. ▪ Click to Close

To Light Cigarettes
Never light three cigarettes with the same match unless you prepare for a spell of ill fortune. This superstition gained favor during the World Wars, probably because a match held long enough to light three cigarettes would give the enemy a clue to your position, especially at night. Whoever said smoking is bad for you should have warned you to use matches carefully.

Chew Your Food — Most doctors admit that 99 percent of human beings eat more than is needed. Indeed, this is a fact of everyday experience, and does not require to be proclaimed by any doctor.

There is no fear at all of people ruining their health by eating too little; and the great need is for a reduction in the quantity of food that we generally take. As said above, it is of the utmost importance to chew food thoroughly well. By so doing, we shall be able to extract the maximum of nutrient from the minimum of food. Eat wisely. Chew your food. ●

Asteroid Collision - Independent astronomers are puzzled about an asteroid over one mile wide possibly hitting Earth. Sky-watchers worry that the public will not take emergency precautions to hoard food and water.

If the math is on target, the object may careen into the sky in twenty years an anonymous source expects. The government down plays the scare. "It must be a Hollywood movie publicity stunt or programming error. We might get hit in a million years," scoffed a skeptic inside a hallway at the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Movie studios deny claims an asteroid disaster movie is in production or their programming is in error.

Chicago Produces Food - Chicago is a large food-market for the world. The industries of the city are almost wholly connected with trading grain, pork, meat, and other foodstuffs.

For the transportation of these commodities about thirty great rail lines enter the city and many passenger trains daily arrive and depart from its stations. The freight terminals are connected by transfer and belt lines. More than five hundred freight trains arrive and depart daily.

About Baking Bread
It is difficult to give rules for making bread; it depends so much on judgment and experience.

In summer, bread should be mixed with cold water; during a chilly, damp spell, the water should be slightly warm; in severe cold weather, it should be mixed quite warm, and set in a warm place during the night. If your yeast is new and lively, a small quantity will make the bread rise, if it be old and heavy, it will take more. In these things I believe wisdom must be gained by a few mistakes. ●

Old Boozers & Smokers

Now and then we hear how some old folks live long and prosper despite bad habits. Someone you know may come to mind. Betty Jones knows of such a person.
"Aunt Agatha kicked the bucket at 90 years old," recalls Ms. Jones. "Agatha guzzled nightcaps (drank booze) and smoked like a chimney most of her life," said Betty.
"Hagatha smoked Pall Malls, those strong unfiltered cigarettes. In my memory, I can still see the blue smoke and smell the tobacco," she added.
Beer, hard cider, liquor, mixed drinks, spirits and wine are among the nightcaps that people enjoy. For social reasons, many like to drink in the company of friends while others prefer to drink alone by themselves.
Lucky Strikes and Camels cigarettes were smoked more than Pall Malls. Of note, in the good old days, one saw the ads on billboards, radio, TV and in print media. ▪

How can a Boor be Happy? - With a gloomy face, sour disposition, complaining habits and inherent lack of good taste and culture, a boor sees only the shadows of life. Boors repulse folks, not attract them. Brilliant people of refinement and taste will have nothing to do with them. The boor only lives a sorry, complaining, gloomy, life without companions as an outcast from that better society we all desire to know. ▪

How About Halibut?
The Halibut is the largest of the flat-fishes, specimens of as much as 20 feet in length being on record, while examples of from 6 to 7 feet long are not uncommon in fish markets.

This fish has a wide distribution, occurring on both sides of the North Atlantic and North Pacific, being most abundant in deep water. Many of the halibut that are in USA fish markets are caught off of Iceland.

About Microscopes - The first microscope is said to have been invented by a Dutchman in 1590, but its invention has been largely attributed to Galileo in 1610. The microscope has been perfected until a millionth part of a grain of blood may be detected by means of the spectrum lens. ▪

Commerce Refines Folks
The history of western civilization is so closely connected with the development of the great routes of travel and the growth of commerce that one cannot possibly separate them. Commerce cannot exist without the interchange of peoples, and peoples cannot be in mutual communication unless each learns from the other. Open and fair trade is best.

Feel Earth Spinning - The Earth is nearly a round body, and revolves on its axis, once every twenty-four hours, from west to east, which causes the Sun and stars to appear to rise in the east, and set in the west.

It is taught that Earth spins at about 1,000 miles per hour. The earth’s surface contains about two hundred million square miles, and its orbit is 96 million miles from the Sun. It takes Earth 365 days to go around the Sun. Try to feel the earth move under your feet.

Female Flirtation - The young man who loves a young woman has paid her the highest compliment in the possession of man. A smart woman will know about letting others down in a gentle manner. Adding insult to an unwelcome flirtation is inelegant. Perpetrate almost any sin, inflict any other torture, but spare him the agony of disappointment. It is a crime that can never be forgiven, and a debt that never can be paid.

Properly Train Children
Training without proper judgment and knowledge is ill advised. Give your children a good example, and never tell a child to do something and then become indifferent as to whether they do it or not.

A child should never be told twice to do the same thing. Teach the child in childhood obedience and never vary from that rule. Do it kindly but firmly. Teach your children well. ▰

Corn for Animals
In the USA the greater part of the corn crop is consumed where it is grown, being used to fatten swine and cattle.

The market value of a pound of corn is extended greatly by feeding the corn to livestock. A farmer can turn an excess product into one for which there is a steady demand. Although corn is not as essential a staple as wheat, it has a wider range of usefulness.

Letters as Literature

To compose a letter requires more ability than to give it the proper arrangement and mechanical dress. A mind well stored with useful knowledge as well as command of language, is necessary in writing a letter on general subjects.

The strictly business letter requires full understanding of the facts concerning which the letter is written, and the facts are set forth in plain and unmistakable language. All display of rhetoric or flourish of words is entirely out of place in the sober, practical letter of business. The proper use of capital letters, punctuation, and correct spelling is essential to the well-written letter, and with care and effort may be easily acquired. ▪

Puerto Rico - Formerly a Spanish colony, it is now a possession of the USA. The island is about the size of Connecticut. The industries are almost wholly agricultural, and nearly the whole surface is under cultivation. Sugar, coffee, and tobacco are grown for export, and these comprise the chief source of income. The coffee-crop is one of the most valuable products and gets a high price because of its better quality. ●

Avoid Awkward Gawking
A lady does not form acquaintances upon the street, or seek to attract the attention of the other sex or of those of her own sex. Her conduct is always modest and unassuming. Neither does a lady ask services or favors from a gentleman.

She accepts them graciously, always certain to express thanks. Gentlemen do not stand on street corners, in hotel doorways, or gaze from store windows to impolitely watch lady passersby. This is the exclusive business of louts. ●

About Brazil - Brazil is the largest of the countries of South America and is level and fertile, producing tobacco, sugar, indigo, coffee, and pepper. Diamonds are found here. In the interior, vast herds of wild cattle abound. They are hunted for their hides, which form one of the chief export articles of the country. ◆

On Whale Oil
The whale is sought mainly in cold waters, and at the present time the chief whaling-grounds are near Alaska. In the early 19th century whale hunting was an industry involving hundreds of vessels and lots of money, mostly out of New England seaports. The oil gotten from the blubber of the animal was used partly as a lubricant, but mainly for lamps. Now, there are less whale hunts.

Keep Up Appearances - Wearing imitations of diamonds is always in bad taste. Every man looks better in a full beard it he keeps it well trimmed.

If a man shaves he should shave at least every other day, unless he is in the country. The fingernails should be kept cut, the teeth should be cleaned every morning and kept clear from tartar. A man who does not keep his teeth clean does not look like a gentleman when he shows them. Keep up your appearance for the sake of others.

Modern Astronomy

Modern astronomy began a little more than three centuries ago with the invention of the telescope and Galileo's application of it to study the heavenly bodies.

This instrument at once revealed to him the mountains on the moon, the satellites of Jupiter, and the spots on the sun, and brought the celestial bodies under observation in a way never before done. In our view today, the planets of the solar system are quite unknown worlds. ■

On the Silver Lining

Silver is about as widely diffused as is gold, but it is more plentiful. It is found sparingly in most of the older rocks and also in seawater.

It was used by the Greeks for coinage more than eight hundred years before the Christian era, and was known to the Jewish people in very early times. Silver coins are actively traded today and the metal is used in jewelry and much more. ▴

It is What You Know
It is known how manners and not wealth decide social rank. You can be rich, but if you do not know how to act, dress, and speak, you will not get respect. Society has rules, and folks who will not learn them are shunned, banished. Etiquette is a roadblock to keep the ill bred out of the circles where they would be awkward, embarrassed, and uncomfortable. For some, without effort they learn how to be polite at the right time and place. ◆

Readers Are Sexier

Cultivate personal attraction. This means the storing of your mind with knowledge of current events, and with a good idea of the world's progress or lack of it. If you read nothing, zip, zero, and make no effort to make yourself attractive, you will soon sink down into a dull hack of stupidity.

If your partner never hears from you any words of wisdom, or of common information, he or she will soon hear nothing from you. Dress and gossips soon wear out. If your memory is weak, so that it seems not worth the effort to read, that is more reason for reading. Reading is a fundamental need. Expand your thoughts with great topics and ignore mindless drivel like found where you now look! ■

Words of Wisdom
Say nothing unpleasant when it can be avoided. Avoid satire and sarcasm. Never repeat a word that was not intended for repetition. Cultivate the supreme wisdom, which consists less in saying what ought to be said than in not saying what ought not to be said.
Often cultivate "flashes of silence." It is the larger half of the conversation to listen well. Listen to others patiently, especially the poor. Hear with the ears. ▪

Too Much Learning - Do not use old classical quotations before a woman unless you know that, by virtue of a classical education on her own part, she is capable of getting the point. Know more about her.
Remember, too, that there are a great many men who, not having enjoyed your educational advantages, are annoyed, rather than edified by your display of learning.
Do not make a point of exhibiting your learning aggressively anywhere. Do not be a show off about intelligence. 🎓

Golden Anniversary Gifts - Unlike the silver wedding, gifts are always presented to the aged couple at the golden wedding. Delicate pieces of gold jewelry are always pleasing to the "bride." The "groom" may be presented with gold shirt-studs, cufflinks or rings. Gold services, gold chased cups, golden goblets and golden candlesticks are most appropriate. ▴

Wisdom can be yours.

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